Tuesday Styles

Sometimes, when large sums of money — in this case, bearer bonds denominated in yuan — are changing hands, some of the more mundane tasks undertaken by our mighty Firm end up falling by the wayside.  But rest assured that TDS International has now acquired a massive, 348-foot corporate yacht, and we call it Nostromo (ship’s registry Liberia).  Those interested in crewing should contact Phineas in our Lloyd’s of London Office.  Anyway, onto the styles:

Primary: Hunter

Secondary: Artemis

Not Recommended: Insane, Easily-Offended Doctor

Forbidden: Aging Luke-the-Mariner with Optional Labels-are-for-Wusses Technique

 

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Friday Styles

Booya!  That week we just had there?  Yeah, you can consider it Crushed.  Nothing ahead of you but shots, the amorous company of your chosen gender, and perhaps the purchase of a luxury yacht.  Do weekends get any better than this?  Not in Styletsown.  Let’s proceed with the Crushing.

Primary Style: 135% Genoa

Secondary Style: Full-Batten Main

Not Recommended: Storm Trysail

Forbidden: Colorful Code Zero with Optional Dousing-Sock Technique

TDS is observing the tome-honored tradition of Spring Break this coming week, so we won’t be around much to guide you as you Crush It.  But we have faith in you, Styleroos.  Use your power for good.  See you in April.


Thursday Styles

Primary Style: Frigate Bird

Secondary Style: Swallow

Not Recommended: Vulture

Forbidden: Weighty Albatross with Optional Ancient-Mariner Technique


Wednesday Styles

Primary Style: Mr. White

Secondary Style: Jesse

Not Recommended: Skinny Pete

Forbidden: Stoic Gustavo with Optional Keep-the-Peace-or-Else Technique


Tuesday Styles

Primary Style: Mickey’s

Secondary Style: Olde English

Not Recommended: Country Club

Forbidden: Smooth Colt 45 with Optional Works-Every-Time Technique


Tuesday Styles

Primary Style: Mickey’s

Secondary Style: Olde English

Not Recommended: Country Club

Forbidden: Smooth Colt 45 with Optional Works-Every-Time Technique


Monday Styles

The TDS Executive Committee participated in a lengthy team-building retreat this past weekend, aimed at trying to improve our innate senses of self-aggrandisement.  Did it work?  I’m certain that I am capable of delivering to you only the finest answer, and that my colleagues and I are perhaps the finest specimens of Crush Power ever to walk the face of God’s green Earth.  Here’s the proof:

Primary Style: Kangchenjunga

Secondary Style: Nanga Parbat

Not Recommended: A Hill of Beans

Forbidden: Beastly Qomolangma with Optional Khumbu Icefall Technique