And so the charms of an early-autumn weekend once again fade into memory as the Great Wheel of Commerce calls us all home t begin another week of toiling for the man. Good thing you’ll be equipped to make things happen all week long. Time to roll the dice.
Primary Style: Pear
Secondary Style: Plum
Not Recommended: Tangelo
Forbidden: Imperious Musk-Melon with Optional Haughty-Seeds-of-Destruction Technique
Ah, the impending weekend. What will it bring? Good fortune? Bad? Will it bring the rich scents of a Turkish harem, or the foul musk of a yak’s winter lair? Only one way to find out. People, the only way out is through.
Primary Style: Swooping Eagle
Secondary Style: Leaping Codfish
Not Recommended: Slithering Salamander
Forbidden: Creeping Sloth with Optional Debauched-by-a-Florid-European-Male Technique
You are on your own over the weekend. Experiment with different combinations; try something new. The staff of The Daily Styles is not responsible, individually or corporately, for any misstep you undertake while practicing un-endorsed styles. We’ll see you back here on Monday.
Primary Style: Platypus
Secondary Style: Dingo
Not Recommended: Koala
Forbidden: Thorny Devil Dragon Lizard with Optional Blazini Technique
Primary Style: Glass
Secondary Style: Crystal
Not Recommended: Genuine Austrian Crystal
Forbidden: Kimberley Process Diamond with Optional Sourced-in-Canada Technique
Primary Style: Gila Monster
Secondary Style: Burrowing Owl
Not Recommended: Turkey Vulture
Forbidden: Desert Fix with Optional Ability-to-be-Mistaken-for-a-Lean-Coyote Technique
Another weekend draws to a close, another week of near-misses and dodging in the hedge-rows yawns wide before you. Before we roll, allow me to tip my hat to Charlotte, the valiant intern who stepped up and Styled for you all last week; I have recuperated fully from a dread disease that I picked up while researching the native styles of Crete. Anyway, let’s get it on.
Primary Style: Bamboo
Secondary Style: Oak, Heart of
Not Recommended: Non-Renewable Burmese Teak
Forbidden: Succulent Maple with Optional High-Flowing-Sap Technique
Thank goodness. The week comes to a close, and I can hand the reins of TDS back to your beloved Styles Guru come Monday. I hope that in my first attempt at harnessing the power of the world of Styles, I’ve helped you fight the good fight. Perhaps they’ll give me another crack at the Styles again when the Guru is feeling well…perhaps. Until then, ride the wave, my friends.
Primary: Captain Jack Aubrey
Secondary: Dr. Stephen Maturin
Not recommended: Preserved Killick
Forbidden: Coxswain Barrett Bonden with Optional Follow-Your-Captain-Loyally-Into-the-Fray Technique (pictured below)
You are on your own over the weekend. Experiment with different combinations; try something new. The staff of The Daily Styles is not responsible, individually or corporately, for any misstep you undertake while practicing un-endorsed styles. We’ll see you back here on Monday.
Our TDS meterologist has told me that it’ll be raining today here in the desert. Depending on your world view, that’s either a good omen or a poor one. Let’s be optimistic — hope for good.
Primary: A Horse with No Name
Secondary: Jeremiah the Bullfrog
Not recommended: One-Eyed One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater
Forbidden: “Happy Hooves” Henry the Horse with Optional Mr.Kite’s-Benefit-Waltz Technique
Ahh, Wednesday. The day named for the Norse god, Wotan. In honor of Wotan, Wodan, Odin, or whatever you want to call him, we’ll have a special Norse Edition of TDS.
Primary: Frigg
Secondary: Baldur
Not recommended: Loki
Forbidden: Norwegian immigrant with Optional Just-Put-Alot-of-Butter-on-the-Lutefisk-and-it’ll-Taste-Really-Good Technique
Hopefully, my newbie vibes on Monday helped you out. As an Intern, I’m always nervous that I’ll make a crucial mistake, but luckily, the other Staff here at TDS have noted no incongruities or dramatics after yesterday’s postings. So now, feeling a little braver in the absence of disaster, I think we’re ready for something a little more hardcore and unorthodox.
Primary: Rainbow Brite
Secondary: Strawberry Shortcake
Not recommended: Heathcliff
Forbidden: Princess of Power She-Ra with Optional Blonde-Hair-Whipping-in-the-Mystical-Wind Technique
The Daily Styles 